online therapy in san jose, and across california.

Therapy for chronic illness.

It’s like your chronic illness has the wheel, and you’re stuck in the passenger seat.

From the overflowing pillboxes to the endless medical appointments, sometimes you just wish you could stick your head into an XL bucket of sand. You are sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. It feels like your medical condition is calling the shots and you are just along for the ride. 

Managing a chronic condition can feel like a full-time job. And maybe that’s on top of the other job you have (the one that actually pays the bills). All your “free” time seems to be taken up with going to physical therapy, getting lab work done, or coordinating with your medical team. Or maybe you use up all your limited energy doing what is absolutely necessary (like work or taking care of the children), leaving you glued to your bed the rest of the time. You are so diligent about doing everything you possibly can that you feel like you have giant blinders on, and the rest of life is passing you by. When was the last time you had a date night? Met up with a friend for coffee? Or read just for fun?

Even with everything you are doing, it somehow never feels like enough.

That noisy inner critic is telling you that you should be able to manage all of this, excel in work, and take care of everyone without an issue. Oh, and magically have time to fit in self-care too. 

Maybe you are having a hard time staying on track with your medications and routines because it’s all just too much. Sometimes the desire to ignore everything is so tempting. Just one day, one afternoon, where you don’t have to think about it. To play hooky from this reality. As much fun as this may be, it is a short-lived escape. The consequences to your blood sugar or pain level or fluid retention never fail to catch up with you. You know this cycle. You know it doesn’t end well. And yet, here you are again.

Your illness impacts so many areas of your life.

It’s hard to connect with others who don’t understand what you are dealing with, especially when they don’t visually “see” you as being sick. This makes your burden feel invisible, and it’s isolating to carry it alone. Those close to you know you go to the doctor often and take medications, but the enormity of mental toll it takes is often hard to put into words. 

You’ve had to make a ton of changes in the way you live, eat, and move. You’ve had to deal with so many needle pricks, procedures, and medication changes that you feel like you should be half-way to some sort of medical degree by now. You may also have had to make changes to your work, whether that’s changing jobs to find a more flexible boss or having accommodations made for your appointments or physical limitations.

It’s just a lot to deal with.

  • 1. Talk through - We’ll start out by clarifying your main concerns and what areas you want to focus on. If you aren’t sure, we’ll figure it out together. We’ll talk through your medical history and get a good understanding of what you’re facing day-to-day. We’ll explore how all of this is impacting you.

  • 2. Make sense of - Sharing your narrative can be a helpful way to reflect on your experiences and feel heard. It can also allow space to name experiences of grief/loss, symptoms of depression and anxiety, competing demands, as well as less obvious ripple effects of your condition. We’ll also talk about your values and priorities.

How it works:

Live better with your condition.

  • 3. Learn tools - We’ll cover relevant tools to work towards your specific goals. This may look like understanding how stress is impacting your physiology and how to practice different evidence-based relaxation exercises. Or it may look like practicing strategies to manage worried thoughts and uncertainty. Sometimes it may also involve increasing specific activities known to improve mood. 

  • 4. Take action - You’ll practice the concrete tools and strategies in-between sessions and then we’ll evaluate how they work for you. We’ll problem-solve challenges and course-correct when needed. We may identify changes that you want to make to focus more on some of your values, and brainstorm ways to put them into action.

Subspecialities

  • Chronic pain

  • Heart disease and congestive heart failure

  • Diabetes

  • Kidney disease and dialysis

Therapy for chronic illness can help you…

  • Equip yourself with effective tools to manage stress, anxiety, and depression

  • Develop realistic strategies to manage your condition day-to-day 

  • Process through complex emotions and losses

  • Prioritize your needs and communicate them effectively with others

  • Feel less isolated and increase connection

  • Reconnect with what matters most to you, and find ways to make your life reflect those values in spite of your condition

 You can get back in the driver’s seat.

Frequently asked questions about chronic illness therapy

FAQs

  • Yes. I have experience working in a pain clinic doing both clinical work and research. I am familiar with evidence-based psychological approaches that can help manage chronic pain, such as CBT, mindfulness-based approaches, and ACT.

  • Yes. Any experiences or symptoms that result in needing to navigate the healthcare system are extremely stressful. Oftentimes, symptoms that don’t receive a clear diagnosis or validation from providers are even more stressful to manage. It is common to feel dismissed by providers when medical tests fail to clearly capture the problem.

  • Yes, as a health psychologist I am an expert in behavior change. As long as you are also working with your medical team (E.g. MDs, NPs, nurses, dieticians, PT, etc.) on the medical aspects of your care, I can work with you to set realistic goals, apply lifestyle changes, and problem-solve barriers that may arise. Sometimes these diagnoses are anxiety-provoking, and we can work together on ways to manage that too.